Apr 11, 2018
Roberta Shaler is the relationship help doctor – meaning she gives urgent care for relationships in crisis. Even the United States Marines have called on her for help, so you know there is no denying this woman is an absolute power house. She particularly helps the partners, children, and exes of people she calls “Hijackals” or people who hijack relationships for power, status, and control. If you need to reclaim your sanity and learn how to cope with this people in your life, Roberta is the doctor for you. She is the author of 16 books including her new series on how to deal with relentlessly difficult people.
Born in the Lair
Roberta finds that she is such an expert on the subject of difficult people because she was born into a lair of Hijackals. At the time, she had no words to put to the kinds of people she was raised by. Furthermore, there seemed to be no help in trying to discuss these issues with people outside her family. She was often told, oh, it’s not like that you’re just misunderstanding your family, which would just re-wound Roberta again. In getting her doctorate in psychology, Roberta started searching for a word that she couldn’t find in all the clinical diagnoses she was studying. Through this work with conflict management in both corporate spheres and personal ones, she arrived at the term that encompassed what she was trying to express: Hijackals.
The main thing to remember when around a Hijackal is that you have the right to take breath and speak what you feeling, so long as you are not attacking the other person. Take responsibility for the “I” and try and stay away from the “You”. Focus on saying things like “When this happens” as opposed to “When you do this”.
First, you have to realize you have worth. What someone says about you is not your truth. You have to settle your own worth, look at your own goals and ambitions, and see what your path forward is. Those boundaries should line that path and let you see that you are telling your own story, no one else is.
Don’t let a Hijackal wrap their tentacles around your soul and guide you. Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between the real and the imagined. Make sure you are telling yourself what you want to believe about yourself to help self-actualize your dreams, destroy the noise, and become empowered.